Life Is a Fight

I remember that night as I just finished my class and I was on my way back home. It was a usual tiring day as I was walking down the bus’ shelter, crossing the super long bridge to take another bus route, it was so tiring both physically and mentally. I opened up my phone and looked up for the result of my latest test for the student exchange program to Beijing, only to find out I failed. All over again. I could not hold back my tears as I cried on my way to the bus, in that public space. In a flash, all the memories of failures came across my head. I remember back in high school, I held no money more than transportation fee as usual. But I braced myself with a friend to go miles away to the southern part of Jakarta, back and forth so many times after school and went back home late, for the student exchange program tests. These 2 kids of 14 years old running under the rain in the middle of the night, miles away from home, to get to the bus, only to try many times for the student e...

Have I told you how severe my condition when I started my freshman year?? Have I told you that with that small amount of money, it was only enough for me to pay for the transportation (the long and tiring one) and a small pack of an ice tea?? YES it was only enough for that, daily. Every single day, I had to bring my own lunch box and a tumblr full of water from home... That added my heavy bag full with books already. No wonder I was always so small no matter how much I ate. lol :) Before you continue reading this article of my sophomore year in university, I strongly suggest you to read my freshman year story first, here: "Oktafia's Freshman Story" . So, let's now continue the story :)

“seorang Okta, kapan gak marah? Kapan seorang Okta tidak terlihat atau terdengar marah? Gak pernah!” “When is the last time Okta does not seem angry? Okta, not look or sound angry? When? Never” The joke, the statement, keeps surrounding my mind up until now. It’s been forever I have the predicate of an angry person.

that moment when everything is falling down, you're in your most hopeless point in life and you call you mom then saying: "I am really apologizing for every mistakes I've done to you. I got these all bad things happen probably because I have too many bad things done to you and I am sorry for that"  instead of forgiving, then she said  "no, don't apologize. Instead, I do apologize for not being there for you, helping you in this situation and you have to face it all alone. forgive me"

I think this society should try to learn to put more respects to people, especially modern women. I do know that we are living in Indonesia, I do know that people cannot easily accept the idea of "freedom". But I think people should really learn to put more respects on us, the modern women.

On the latest truth or dare game with some friends, I got this question: "what do you fear the most?" No need to think, I answered "hell" ... Then I was asked "Why didn't you answer God?" Well, here's the thing. 

Sometimes we do fall in love not with a person, but with the idea of a person. The perfect idea of it. Not even from a touch of a hand, not even from a warmth of a hug. It can simply come from a glance at the eyes or just a look on the face.

Pretension is everywhere, right? Pretending that something is not happening, pretending that you don't hear him saying "I love you" just so you can hear it twice, pretending not to see someone passing by just because you don't know how to say hi, pretending that you still don't know that they're preparing a surprise for you just so you can still see those smile on their faces, or whats worse is that pretending that you're not hurt and keeping that smile on your face for the sake of someone you love not knowing that you're hurting.