Skip to main content

What is Love All About?

This might be crazy, but i don't know why probably i'll get even crazier if i don't write it all down.
And i don't even know that probably this stupidity shouldn't be published yet just to be kept by me alone. but i just think that if there are some other people who feel the same as me right now, probably they just don't know how to say it, how to express it, or probably the feeling is just too random that they don't even know what they are actually feeling.

I never thought a love can come so easy and in the form that we never thought it would do. Like, it would be better if love come from a really long process or long time so that means you have enough reasons that could justify you to love that person. But when you only meet him in a blink of an eye, in a really short time but then you already fell in love, I don't know if i can say that this is wrong or how. But it just doesn't feel right at all.



That moment when you don't know what you're actually feeling because you haven't felt that such of feeling for a really long time, not because you're heartless but because you don't want to be hurt anymore with the same stupid things or just because you try to be heartless because the past pain was so big to remember.

Love can come in any possible way. It can be coming just because of a smile, a night being spent together, some few stupid talks, an unintended touch of a hand, a laugh, few days of togetherness, a thought, or simply can come from a note or a song. And the stupidest thing is that when love comes from a person that you know you shouldn't love or with the one you know that no matter what it's never going to work out with him anyway.

Because this life ain't a fairy tale where you were in one rare moment, you met a guy, you liked him, you guys had some unintended moments together and foilaaa he falls in love with you. It's never been as that easy. 

The hardest part is to guess whether he sees you as a friend or as.....just friend. One day he makes you feel special but the other day you just realize that you guys are just friends. But when you take a flash back you know what happened between you both shouldn't be as simply a normal thing as for "just friends". The silliest part was that you didn't really attach to him when you were together, but something happened before you both being separated by the conditions, and he made you fall in love with him because of a really small thing that you never expected before.

It's not that you're such a fly person who can get too attached easily with boys, but you keep rejecting it anyway. And as the time flies, you realize that you can't go a second without thinking about him and you value your talks together so much.

Is it love? Or is it just an attachment? I know there might be so many people out there feel the same like this. Like, it's all so confusing. You don't know what to do next. you can even still live your life normally like he didn't exist, but every time you open your phone you always expect him to say hello to you first. Not that because you have that such of "I don't text first" mental, but you just don't want to annoy him again because it's been always you who started the talks and everything and you've got tired of being ignored. Not even being ignored as the signal that he doesn't want to talk to you, but even know already know his personality and behavior when he's so busy and tired and that thing will happen. but you never know what times or when he will be so available and talk cute things with you. Because that can be anytime, and if that 'anytime' was the time that you don't try to talk to him, then you lose it. 

So what is it all about? is it me trying to express my feeling? no. It's just... the thing is actually people can still live their life normally when these things happen. And we can still even smile, laugh and do stupid things with our real friends that are real beside us without hoping those loved people out of nowhere. But isn't it crazy when you always try to keep being busy so you can for a while forget him, but a second you stop he is the person who will pop up in your mind?

I think love is when you can love that person, even when they don't notice it. You will be always available for them even though they will only come to you when they need you. Because that is love, isn't it? Being there when a person need you. I know it hurts most of the time. Like you wanna run to him directly, grab his hand, or just probably hug him so tight because you miss his presence beside you that too much. But i think it would be sweeter when you can just pray to God for you betterness, for you two betterness no matter what it is. Because you don't even know if he feels the same as you or not. you even have more possibility that he doens't. but i think when you keep praying, God will show you the truth. Like, if you've been praying for you both a lot and God finally can make you forget him, so we know that your love to him is not really real and should stop. But when you've been praying a lot yet your love and your miserable feeling doesn't go away even just a little, what does that mean? If that means your love is real and you both can have another story together, but why doent's it give any clue from now? Why does it look like it was all just a dream, a daydream?

I think over all, that is what love all about. Like even though it hurts, it will give you so much lesson. Lesson to appreciate the people around you and appreciate the people that you know actually love you. Because you already know that feeling when you've been loving a person but doesn't get anything in return.
Love should be sincere, anyway. 
I know it's hard and it might be a bullshit for some others. 
But for me. it is like that and it is real.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

My University Life Story; Sophomore Year

Have I told you how severe my condition when I started my freshman year?? Have I told you that with that small amount of money, it was only enough for me to pay for the transportation (the long and tiring one) and a small pack of an ice tea?? YES it was only enough for that, daily. Every single day, I had to bring my own lunch box and a tumblr full of water from home... That added my heavy bag full with books already. No wonder I was always so small no matter how much I ate. lol :) Before you continue reading this article of my sophomore year in university, I strongly suggest you to read my freshman year story first, here: "Oktafia's Freshman Story" . So, let's now continue the story :)

My University Life Story; Junior Year

I remember that night as I just finished my class and I was on my way back home. It was a usual tiring day as I was walking down the bus’ shelter, crossing the super long bridge to take another bus route, it was so tiring both physically and mentally. I opened up my phone and looked up for the result of my latest test for the student exchange program to Beijing, only to find out I failed. All over again. I could not hold back my tears as I cried on my way to the bus, in that public space. In a flash, all the memories of failures came across my head. I remember back in high school, I held no money more than transportation fee as usual. But I braced myself with a friend to go miles away to the southern part of Jakarta, back and forth so many times after school and went back home late, for the student exchange program tests. These 2 kids of 14 years old running under the rain in the middle of the night, miles away from home, to get to the bus, only to try many times for the student e

Contoh Essay dalam B.inggris

seperti di postingan gue sebelumnya, gue pernah share tentang tips2 nulis beasiswa biar tembus buat univ2 dalam negri... and there you gooo... berikut ini adalah 2 essay gue yg tembus di universitas paramadina... *jadi beasiswa universitas paramadia itu ada 2 tahap, tahap pertama seleksi essay dari 1000 peserta seluruh indonesia, akan dipilih 150 essay/peserta untuk ikut tahap kedua yaitu tahap interview...dan berikut adalah kedua essay gue yg bikin gue lolos tahap interview beasiswa paramadia *pengumumannya sih belom, doain ja yaa* oia essay yang gue tulis dua duanya pake bahasa inggris *walaupun gak diwajibin dari pihak univ* tapi pake bahasa asing itu jadi nilai plus