PART IX
Minggu, 27 Februari 2011
Hari ini gue capek banget, hari ini seenggaknya tim gue udah ngelaluin 3 ronde..tapi gue bersyukur karena semuanya terbayar dengan kemenangan kita…yup, tim gue juara 3 di lomba di depok ini, lomba ini jauh lebih sulit dari lomba gue waktu di tingkat DKI, pesertanya lebih banyak, dan tingkatnya bukan Cuma tingkat DKI, tapi tingkat jabodetabek….dan yang buat gue paling puas adalah gue bisa jadi best speaker di lomba ini, yang dimana juri2nya itu semuanya sama kaya juri waktu di tingkat DKI kemaren…itu ngebuktiin kalo omongan si Denis tuh bener, kalo kemaren gue kalah bukan karena gue ga mampu, tapi karena gue lagi sial doang…denis, ngomogin dia, gue jadi kepikiran…tadi semenjak dia pulang abis ngeliat gue lomba Cuma sampe ronde ke dua, dia udah gak ada kabarnya, dan gue juga belom sempet ngasih tau dia tentang resultnya….dan berhubung gue berfikir ini semua karena dia, jadi gue harus berterima kasih sama dia…ya Tuhan, andaikan dia tau, hanya dengan hal kecil yang dia lakuin ini, dia udah jadi semangat buat gue untuk debate lagi…tadinya gue berfikir untuk keluar dari dunia debate ini, dunia yang udah ngebesarin gue, tapi karena dia lah gue jadi mengurungkan niat gue…andai dia tau
Sampe malem Denis masih gak bales sms gue, dia Cuma ngirim gue message di Facebook
Denis : “tante Maryam, congratulation yaa akhirnya lo bisa senyum lagi…inget pesen kakek, tetep rendah diri…and see you at the next sparing”
“akhirnya lo bisa senyum lagi??” apa maksudnya itu Tuhan?? Apa dia ngelakuin ini semua hanya untuk membuat gue senyum lagi dari keterpurukan gue?? Maksudnya apa?? Ah please denis, jangan bikin gue ngarepin lo terus…
******
Titi : “mar, itu mah udah jelas2 dia suka sama lo…ga mungkin seorang cowok rela berkorban segitunya kalo gak ada perasaan”
Gue : “ia juga sih…terutama pas dia cerita ke gue kalo dia dipanggil guru pembina ekskulnya, dia dimaki2 abis2an dan diomel omelin Cuma gara2 ngasih info ini ke gue…kalo dia udah tau sebelumnya hal ini bakal nimbulin konflik di pihak kedua sekolah, kenapa juga dia tetep kekeh bantuin gue”
Titi : “noh kan…apalagi yang dia udah tau di kasih ultimatum gitu sama temen2 klub nya tapi dia tetep milih buat ke sekolah lo, bantuin lo, dan nonton lo lomba..itu apa mar kalo bukan suka?? Ditambah lagi yang kata lo dari cerita dia kalo dia sampe di maki2 gurunya gitu demi lo”
Gue : “ah, jangan bikin gue ngarep dong…trus gue mesti gemana??”
Titi : “jujur ke dia, bilang lo udah suka sama dia semenjak lo ketemu dia…dia itu ketauan mar, tipe pemalu…kalo kata gue dia tuh udah pengen nembak lo, dari cerita2 lo udah ketauan dia sering keceplosan gitu, tapi dia tuh kemakan omongan lo yg sering bilang lo gamau pacaran dulu…lagian elo sih”
Gue : “jujur?? Haduh gatau deh gue”
Semenjak nasihat dari salah satu sahabat gue itu keluar, gue jadi dilemma tingkat akut…gue udah nyiapin sms kata dimana gue bakal utarain perasaan gue ke Denis…tapi setiap kali gue smsan sama dia, gue berusaha buat klik tombol send di hp gue, dan setiap gue send sms itu, pasti jung2nya gue gagalin lagi…
1 Maret 2011 sekitar jam 11.30 pm…gue dan Denis masih smsan..
Denis : “ydah ah sist, granpha mau tidur dulu..lo juga tidur yaa, jngan tidur malem2”
Gue : “haha, ia granpha cerewet”
Denis : “ydah…bsok gue bli kartu 3 deh, tpi buat tlpon lo ajah, m3 gue bkal ttp gue pake, tpi lo jngan buang m3 lo juga yaaa”
Gak lama setelah sms terakhir itu, gue tau dia udah tidur, dan akhirnya tombol send pun terpencet tanpa ada tombol cancel setelah itu…akhirnya terkirim juga sms yang sudah gue buat dari hari2 sebelumnya buat si Denis..
“Denis, I want to tell you something…but please promise me, after I tell you this, you will not avoid me and we’ll still be friends…Well, I’ve been falling for you since the first day we met…I just want to tell you this, just to make me feel free…I hope we still can be friends after this, and thanks for all”
*pagi2 hari rabu, 2 maret 2011*
What?? Gue shock banget, Ada 3 sms…dan semuanya dari----
Denis : “i don’t understand what you say…need to talk more..i think you’re just kidding about that…i never feel your mind has that thig to me..talking about that, let’s continue to the next..happy to heard that..lol”
Denis : “holllaaa…don’t play burrow there..i know you’re reading this at the current..don’t be inhibited to reply this…so fucking sad you’re not replying this…just let’s continue to the next”
Denis : “hey, I know you’re reading this at the current…so sad you’re not replying this”
Shit !!! ternyata semalem dia belom tidur pas gue sms gitu…aaaahhh…kenapa balesannya begini semua?? Maksudnya apa??
Pagi ini gue baru bangun tidur dan langsung baca2 smsnya dia…sambil siap2 berangkat ke sekolah, gue sibuk smsan sama Denis…oh gosh
Gue : “I’m seriously !!, so what do you think about me”
Gue gatau mau ngomong apa ke dia….jujur gue agak malu juga, gue sendiri gak nyangka gue bisa ngungkapin perasaan ke cowok yang dah gue suka sejak 1 tahun 3 bulang yang lalu…gue sarap…dan sialnya hari ini dia kayanya gak sekolah, melainkan berangkat PSG, jadi dia masuk siang dan pagi2 gini dia masih bisa smsan banyak sama gue, sedangkan gue mesti buru2 siap2 ke sekolah sambil ngeladenin dia…repot men, tapi herannya gue masih ngeladenin aja, gak gue cuekin…gue terus2an sms dia, sampe gue tiba di sekolah, gue masih sibuk smsan sama dia sambil cerita sama temen2 gue…
Denis : “hahaha…huft, happy to hear that..but actually I don’t know why did you feel that about me because the main reason is I don’t have something special inside my soul…the first time I met you, I thought you’re smart but unfortunately you’re too conceited for me to be hit it off with you even until I was hopeless and didn’t contact you anymore…now I saw you back several times ago, you’ve been convert to be good for me until eventually I wanna hit it off with you…and I thought no problem you were saying that because I need the person who is loving me and available to fill my life, and I think you know what I mean??”
*gosh, jadi selama ini begitu?? Jadi selama ini dia juga mendem perasaan yang sama Cuma gara2 gue nya yang bodoh jadinyaaaa--…ah gue gamau nebak nebak…1 tahun 3 bulan memendam cinta ini udah cukup buat gue*
Gue : “what?? Don’t make me guess anymore, one year is enough…just tell me what you mean”
Denis : “okeh okeh…just a simply, here you goooo…I LOVE YOU TOO AND I NEED YOU”
*nyessssss,, kaki gue langsung lemes, gue yg hri itu lgi make spatu pantofel, serasa langsung ga bisa berdiri, gue langsung duduk dan tmen2 gue pda heran*
Gue lemes, duduk di lantai kelas, ga kuat berdiri…temen2 gue pda heboh, rhiza, gadis, sarah, fita, smuanya, mereka ngerangkul2 gue dengan gaje..mereka lagi ada di sekeliling gue ngeliatin gue smsan sama denis…
Gue : “what?? Seriously?? Oh gosh, why do you just tell me now?? Why do you have to make me wait until a year denis??”
Denis : “huwaaaaaats?? One year?? Im sorry…actually I will tell you at the accurate time, I’m sure about that, what’s your respone about what I just said??”
Gue : “kenapa lo mesti bikin gue nunggu lo sampe setahun klo lo juga suka sama gue dari awal, denisss??”
Gue seneng tau kenyataan dia juga suka sama gue, hanya dengan tau hal itu, udah lebih cukup buat gue..tapi kenapa dia mesti bikin gue nunggu selama ini??
Denis : “haha, basicly about what you’ve spoken that you don’t need a boyfriend, that statement would be preventing me to say that firstly…maybe I’ll never say that cause at heart I never know that you feel the same too, cause I don’t want to take a risk that if you’ll refuse me and I don’t want that to happen…I need to talk to you this noon”
Gue Cuma bisa diem…gue gatau mesti gmana..gosh, finally..gue ngerasa bebas banget setelah jujur ke dia, dan terlebih, baca balesan smsnya, gue bukan seneng lagi..otak gue udah serasa taman bunga tuh, segeeerrr banget :P
Udah beberapa jam dia ga sms, tiba2 *biiiip* ada sms, dari dia, isinya singkat banget, tapiiiii
DENIS : “love you madly”
*****
THE BETTER WAY TO SHARE PART.2
if you'r good in observing my facebook, you must have known that i made a note named "the better way to share"
all the things that i shared there was a truth
but now its different
god has given me the answer of my questions.he gave me him ! the one that i've been waiting for more than a year...once i loved him so bad, once i hated him so much, but i realize that i loved him, i love him, n i'll love him forever
maybe im too exaggarate here,but im just sharing the truth
thank you god, and my friends..now i can smile :)
Posted on facebook by Maryam Carolina onT hursday, March 3, 2011 at 1:20pm
BACK TO DECEMBER
nothing special in my life..
thought it was complete,
but it was really not,,
after that december
always try to figure out of a thing,,
of a thing i call love
be a player and heartbreaker...
but how i wanted to change
after that december
**back to december
saw u from a distance
thought u'r the one
but nothing seemed to prove that right
then u just went away...
tried to talk and contact,,
but just hard when u had someone,,
i tried to cheer up my self,by lying of loving someone,,
the biggest lie i did
**back to december
saw u from a distance
thought u'r the one
but nothing seemed to prove that right
then u just went away...
then i saw ur someone was gone,,
and i realize, i've made a lie,
no one i loved but u
and i tried to talk anyway,,
**back to december
saw u from a distance
thought u'r the one
but nothing seemed to prove that right
then u just went away...
one day u came along,
as an angel and said,,,,
back to that december,,
i saw u from a distance,,
i knew that u'r the one,,
and everything seems to prove that right,,
and now im here anyway....
Posted on facebook by Maryam Carolina on Wednesday, April 6, 2011 at 8:21am
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